Our next stop is Durango, if I wanted a non-tourist town I sure got it. We decided to walk around town as we waited to check into our hotel. The looks we got from the locals made it very apparent that they did not get a lot of tourists. Don’t get me wrong they were all very nice. You could just tell that they were not used to random white people just walking down their streets and in their grocery stores.

Our hotel was definitely a lucky find. It was once a prison that had been renovated into a hotel. Inside In it was a restaurant that was mainly filled with businessmen. They seem to be Durango’s main visitors. A strange sight of buttoned-up American men speaking perfect casual Spanish. Here we had the famed Mexican Caesar salad, and it did not disappoint. The waiter made it table side, and it was the best, Caesar salad I think I’ve ever had.

The next day we left for what we thought would be our last stop in Mexico, Monterey. We were wrong, very wrong. On the way we did have the adventure of Chris deciding that he wanted to see where the other road (not toll road) lead to. I informed him that we were too old to make this kind of dumb decision. Nonetheless, he had to see what the free road was like. It is a free road but nothing is free and I started to feel the toll for this trip was very unpleasant. As night fell, we pulled into these tiny towns where our very white rental car filled with very white people was very noticeable. I’m not one not to turn down an adventure but I do know my limits when locals are looking at you like “Are you f’ing crazy?” It’s best to seek adventure elsewhere. I informed him that he was to get back on the toll road or he would be living in this town now. Knowing him they would have elected him Mayor within a couple of months. Me? Not as gregarious and tend to have a resting aggravated face so it’s best I don’t test the waters.

Once back on our privileged people's path, we headed to Monterey. Our first thought was to head to the airport and return the rental car and book a flight. On the way there we found out what driving in populated Mexico was like. Watching buses off-road on the sides of highways while their passengers casually looked at their phones. We were silly and assumed lanes and turn signals still existed. In Monterey, they are just slight suggestions. We were ready to be done driving, or Chris was I am definitely a passenger princess if given the chance.

What we didn’t know is that the new COVID rules had turned the system upside down and the airport looked like a scene from a zombie movie. Everybody trying to get out at the same time with no concern for their fellow man. Seems Chris will gladly go into strange maybe cartel-filled towns but he draws the line at crowded airports.

We booked a hotel to make a plan. Travel advice part: for a nice cheap trip go to Monterey. We got a three-star hotel for just under $30. Restaurants are everywhere there is even one run by Nuns(Don’t order too much it seems Nuns aren’t the most adventurous cooks). Monterey is full of beautiful museums and architecture. It was a pleasant surprise. After enjoying the day we needed a plan to get out. Lucky for us the Greyhound bus's last stop is Monterey. Bus tickets in hand we headed for the border. Once again the rumors of Mexico are not true. These buses were immaculate just like almost all the towns we had been to.

It’s a little bit of a hold-up at the border but nothing like the airports. I did have a moment at the border. The very nice border patrol officer complimented my purse. I went into a complete panic. I can feel my eyes start to go crazy and then start blurting out random words. He gives me a quizzical look and sends me on my way. Why do we do this? It’s like in school when you would get called to the office. Walking down the hallway slowly convincing yourself that you must have blacked out and done something terrible. Did I think that I had somehow become a member of the Cartel and just forgot?

We finally got across. Grabbed an Uber and headed to the airport. We decided to walk around until it was boarding time, and maybe find something to eat. Of course, a huge windstorm rolls in. So as my fair well gift to Mexico and the trip a giant wind gust blows my skirt over my head. Now y’all can surmise what everybody saw since I had not done laundry in two weeks. I guess it’s not officially a crazy trip until someone sees a bare ass.

One thing I didn’t mention is the amount of butts we saw in Mexico. We even started an album for it. Now that I think of it, my exit was a proper tribute to Mexico and all the butts we saw along the way. This ends a forty-year-old version of “On the Road”. If you were disappointed, you were supposed to be. We are middle age people with kids. “ What did you think was going to happen?”