Tis the season for Holiday parties.
You know that annual event when you stand around with your co-workers wondering why you are hanging out with these people for free. I am sure some people love their Holiday work parties. I on the other hand always tend to get cornered by the person I like the least and instead of just annoying, they are drunkenly close talk with the distinct odor of whiskey and French onion dip annoying. I always think this year it will be different, every year I am wrong. I try to drag a friend with me to share the pain, within minutes I am quickly abandoned for the open bar and the cloak of anonymity they can hide under. I don’t blame them.
Realtors are weird, I included.
You have your car salesman types you know the ones with the Bluetooth thing in their ear and they do the whole wink and that weird point at you while making a clicking noise thing. Who started that by the way? Is it ever not creepy?
After them, come the Strutting Roosters, the ones who walk around with their chests puffed up looking at anyone who tries to talk to them as if they are speaking to a toddler, they are as we say today the mansplainers. Thanks dude! Before you told me I could have never figured out what molding is.
Then you have the Fancy Lady realtors. They usually are dressed to the nine’s and while putting on a smiling face you can tell they really don’t want to be there. They don’t eat the food, gently sip one glass of wine while politely nodding at any conversation that is attempted. They usually excuse themselves to go eat good food and drink copious amounts of good wine with the muckitys mucks. Don’t get me wrong I love these ladies, they are like the badasses of Real Estate. They look like a spoiled rich housewife but they work their asses off, and they will bring the hammer of Thor down on you if you even get close to messing up one of their deals. I’ve have determined an angry women is scary but an angry women who is willing to sacrifice a $1500.00 pair of shoes and $300.00 hairdo to get things done is truly terrifying. You go Ladies! Look down on me all you want, you are the giants and I got mad respect for a woman that kicks ass and takes names.
Next, the super nice agents. It’s that girl in all the 80’s movies with the braces and slightly disheveled hair all grown up. So sweet and doe-eyed. They usually just started and have no idea what they have gotten into. You want to tell them to run, you will never survive, they will eat you alive. You don’t though, you can’t battle all the fake niceties you just have to be polite and wish them the best, they are usually destroyed by the next type.
The Mean Girls, you know them they are in every field, they have been around since grade school. They usually travel in packs and eerily resemble each other. They always have that weird smile plastered on their face and say things like “ I just love how quirky you are” or “Its so nice that you are so different”. Look ladies, I am a grown woman I know what that means now, it is a polite way to say I am a weirdo, a freak, a nerd or whatever you think is an insult. Good try but I grew out of being bothered by those things the minute I realized y’all are just sad and angry and hold resentment for anyone that doesn’t feel the pressure to impress anyone but themselves.
This brings me to my final and favorite type. The weirdos, freaks, nerd, rebels and etc. That is a large range but they are all my favorites. There is the loud-mouthed agent who doesn’t give a crap if you like her or not, her clients love her. The guy who just here to do business and doesn’t feel the need to make friends. The agent that doesn’t look like she would be in Real Estate but is the silent threat because she’s actually awesome at it. The guy who is painfully quiet but if you ask him he will know every statistic and what the market is doing at exactly that moment, man I love that guy. My favorite the Old School Realtors from the Country, my god they are hilarious. They cuss and say inappropriate things. They usually drink too much but manage to always keep it together enough to throw out some truly wonderful Cajun sarcasm. They have been here a lot longer than you and they follow their own rules. I love those ladies so much, I kind of wish I could just take them home with me.
I am a mix of last few. I probably cuss too much, I am not the quietest person you will ever meet, I am not too keen on socializing with other Realtors and I am known for going all Momma Bear on anyone who tries to mess with my clients. Okay what I just described actually sounds like a pretty interested Christmas party, maybe I should go this year. Nah, let's just say that I did and pretend I brought this really easy recipe that is perfect for a holiday party! See what I did there I kind of made this whole thing make sense.