This recipe was the brainchild of my 13-year-old daughter. When I say, my daughter is cooler than me its because she is.
She rocks a half shaved head haircut that is infinitely cooler than any haircut I have ever tried to pull off. One time I got a haircut during a blackout that left me with a bob that made me look like Friar Tuck's long lost sister. (You know its bad when you walk in and your Dad has to bow his head to keep from laughing out loud.) Not only does she rock this hair in the evil world that is Junior High females she has the attitude to match. When I ask her about people say about how she looks she responds “They make fun of me, but it’s my hair and I’ll do what I please with it. As long as I like it who cares?” How did my child pass me up in the self-assured department? I still find myself nitpicking my outfit if someone looks at me too long.
Obviously, I had something to do with her personality and confidence. I knew that their father (my ex-husband) would start pulling "You have to be a little lady" crap at one point, so I wanted to make sure they knew that looks are not what is most important. Being a decent person is important. Having confidence in yourself is important. Standing up for what you believe is important. I don’t give a shit if you're a lady. This doesn’t mean I'm raising barbarians; I don’t let them eat with their hands or randomly hock a loogie in public. Honestly, I think that's just being a decent, civilized person. Men shouldn’t be doing that either btw. My rule is, if what your doing is disgusting how about nobody do it? Can we all just agree on that? I’d prefer if no one hocked a giant ball of phlegm in front of me or sat with their legs wide open so I can see all your bits and pieces.
My favorite story about her is when she turned 13, and she was given a purse. She emphatically tells everyone she doesn’t like girly stuff and does not want a purse. Yet, here it is an overpriced, tiny purse. Considering she doesn’t wear makeup, have a phone, she has no money or I.D. which means she does not need a wallet, whats the point? You know what she wants? A bag big enough for her 8000 damn markers and sketchbooks. When she informed them, politely that she didn’t want a purse, she was told, “Since you are 13 your a lady now, and every lady has to have a purse." When she told me this, I responded, “Well I guess I was a walrus till I was 17 because I sure as hell didn’t have purse till then.” Who knew? I thought to have the appropriate parts made me a lady. This whole time its my purse that makes me a lady. The one thing I can say is if your purse is what determines what kind of lady you are, mine is spot on to what kind of lady I am. A slightly stained hot mess that somehow always has what you need, even if it may have something stuck to it. I got my purse from the thrift store, so I guess that also makes me living breathing version of Dolly Parton's “The Bargain Store.” I’m not raising perfect little ladies; I am raising decent human beings and from what I can tell I am doing a damn good job.