Parish Meat Pies/ "A fig wrapped in beef clothing"

I know everyone is busy arguing about politics but can we talk about something really important? I am talking about Fakin’ Bacon’! 

Most people are aware I am not a fan of meat substitutes with funny little names. I don’t have anything against vegetables or vegetarians. Yet, what I can’t abide are things like ToFurkey and Fakin Bacon. First, they don’t look appealing at all. ToFurkey looks like a slimy gelatinous blob with some strange growth on its back (come to find out this growth is a bag of "gravy"). What is that unnatural color of Fakin Bacon, and those strange stripes? I am sorry but I don’t want my bacon to look like cherry flavored Fruit Stripes Gum. No! Thank! You! I’ll go ahead and eat that beautiful head of cauliflower or a nice plate of sliced beets, things that are supposed to be white and bulbous or shades of red and white.

All this being said, I am just annoyed by these things, not motivated in the slightest bit to legally stop it. Someone out there is though. France just recently placed a ban on meat names for vegetarian products. 

“France recently passed an amendment to its Agriculture Bill. It prohibits any product that is largely based on non-animal ingredients from being labeled like a traditional animal product. This essentially bans product names such as “vegetable steak”, “soy sausage”, or “bacon-flavored strips”. - Malt D. Rödl, www.theconversation.com

Following in their footsteps Missouri has passed a similar law:

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/foodblog/2018/04/30/missouri-weighs-label-for-plant-based-meat-alternatives

One of the major points is that they don’t want consumers confused that they are eating meat products. WHAT? I don’t know about you but I find this slightly insulting. When have you ever been confused that a veggie product was actual meat? For me, that would be never. I like a good veggie burger, but I have never once in my life been fooled that this is a Big Mac in veggie clothing. 

It’s not like they try to sneak veggie products in the meat area. Every grocery store I have been too had a very distinct vegetarian section. I venture to say vegetarians would be slightly pissed if you started storing their products in the meat aisle. I would, and I am a meat eater. I would like to hear from both sides and see how many have ever been fooled into eating veggies or meat. 

Would it be really bad if it worked and you got fooled into eating more veggies? How much would you suffer if you ate some cauliflower nuggets or a black bean burger? I understand obviously that this is probably backed by the meat industry. There are many factors that have nothing to do with confusing veggie products with meat products. Considering the political climate right now, it doesn’t hurt to give us something else to debate about. I would welcome a nice heated meat and veg debate. We can start coming up with original insults like rumpsters, beef flakes, lentilist or rhubarbarians. So grab a handful of bacon or fistful of soy jerky and let the games begin.

* These are not vegetables pretending to be meat. They are meat pies that delightfully hide any veggies that are in attendance.

*thank you Boosiph Radley on Facebook for bringing this silliness to my attention.

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